Dalton & I had a broken {soul} contract

Before I ever even considered becoming a mom, or getting married even, I was and still AM a soul, and I made contracts before I came here, PS I didn’t know any of this for most of my life.

So while I was bopping around doing Pilates, running my studio, falling in love and getting married, my higher self knew the whole time why I was here, what I was meant to be doing and that yes there were babies involved in this life here.

I didn’t KNOW this. I actually never was the girl who dreamt of always having babies and a family. I actually was quite the opposite about it all. As I grew up, I wasn’t boy crazy, I didn’t have boyfriends in high school, or college, I am SUPER independent, even now, I LOVE to be alone and have tons of space. Heath was the first super serious guy I dated - I was “older” I guess you could say in my late twenties and simply never had the time to just mess around with guys or anything. Just give me what I want, that’s how I basically feel about everything.

Before I met Heath, STILL I wasn’t concerned with finding a boyfriend or going on dates, I would hang out with my friends and go to church stuff and RUN (I was training for the Honolulu marathon at the time) and I DID have the thought go through my head many time that I’m fine if I never get married. And that meant I also wasn’t thinking about having a baby. But all this was meant to play out as you can see.

So the truth is, not only did I NOT think about having babies, I was the aunt that was like oh you’re so cute but the crying and the spilling food everywhere just wasn’t my thing. Sometimes I still feel guilty that I didn’t offer to watch my sister’s kids more when she lived so close and now they don’t anymore. I don’t know, it just wasn’t a high priority in my DNA to be motherly.

And you know what happens after you get married right? You’re supposed to have babies. That’s “what you do.” Even though I was going back to school, still running my studio, finding other instructors to cover my daytime clients and teaching at night, studying, and we were building a house - FUN. Not so much. I actually hardly saw my husband and was super mean about having time to study. STRESS BALL.

But in the middle of all of that, we still went down this path of drs, specialists, even starting treatments to have a baby while I very clearly in my head did not WANT THAT. I have always liked working, having things to do, training clients and being busy. SELFISH busy though, do you see? I LIKE doing my own things and not being attached to stuff. Maybe it’s extreme maybe it’s how I’m built. But the thing is, that just doing something because you think it’s what you do, or the time or because someone else told you it’s a good idea, is actually NOT a good idea at all.

Dalton and I had a soul contract. Of course we did, he’s here. You and your baby or babies have soul contracts too. That means: You picked them. And they picked YOU. Before you got here. So you can’t mess it up. It’s MEANT TO BE.

BUT - if*** you are having trouble getting pregnant like I did, something, ONE or BOTH sides of this contract are broken. Not permanently, but something is off.

I can’t really know for sure why mine/ours was broken but I have ideas. Like IF I had gotten pregnant with IVF I would have hated the process. I mean I still do hate the process or how I felt when I was doing it. I didn’t want THEM to WIN. I didn’t want it to happen “that way.” Inside, I bet you have a deep knowing as well. Probably that you ARE meant to be a mother, for the first time, or again. And probably that YOUR baby is waiting for you. You might even know the gender. And if you are like what? I have never heard of this, then that’s ok too.

But I bet you have a deep knowing of what’s on your path here. I did. I had a knowing that when the drs told me IVF was the ONLY way I could have a baby and that it ‘might take a few times but eventually it should work…..’ What?!? are you even kidding me. WHY I didn’t start stomping my feet and telling them how in fact ridiculous that was to say to me/us ESPECIALLY the FIRST time I met them, and by the way it’s not even TRUE, I still don’t know. But we did end up firing them.

Don’t let anyone tell you something that isn’t what you already know and feel to be true inside of you. NOBODY.

This is YOUR life, YOUR soul’s contract here, to do what you’re here to do. To meet your baby or babies and bring them down here.

I think the contract was broken because I would have been the WORST mother had I gotten pregnant while traveling to school 45 minutes each way all day. While trying to do all these things, and not having time, love and attention adequate for him. And MY HIGHER SELF knew a bunch of things too.

Like I how I am here to teach you how it really works. How food works, how your BODY works, how the UNIVERSE works, even in this area. That you CAN have your baby and family in whatever way it’s meant to come. I would have raised Dalton SO DIFFERENTLY than he is being raised today.

If I breast fed him, it would have been full of sh*t because I ate sugar all the time and drank diet dr. pepper. If I gave him formula it would have had soy or corn or canola oil in it. I would have fed him all the things I was eating without regard for the food going into his little body and developing immune system. I would have vaccinated him, I would have done so MANY things that today I CANNOT imagine doing.

So maybe it was him saying geez mom get your LIFE together. Or maybe it was me saying you’re NOT READY to do this thing the way you want to YET. And maybe it was Heath and I not being connected enough to each other to add on this other human. It doesn’t really matter.

I want you to know though, all those knowings inside of you are real. And if you’re even reading this you do have a soul contract, and there are things to do to prepare yourself, and even find out what the hold up might be on the other end :)

This is more than food and chemicals. This is spiritual. This is part of a lesson for you. And just because the baby isn’t here in your arms yet, doesn’t mean there isn’t one, and that ACTUALLY there is/are BLESSINGS for you both in this interim. So stop, and take a deep breath.

You do KNOW.


There is a CONTRACT.

You just have to get ready.

If this speaks to you I am now taking private coaching clients on again, SPECIFICALLY for women who are wanting to learn, to heal, to get their physical, spiritual and emotional bodies ready for a baby. To clear up the inflammation in the body that does slow down fertility. To get really real about what you want, and why and how a baby fits into that.

Dalton changed everything for me. Who knew? I was meant to be a mom. He was meant to be one of my teachers and I for him. The thing was, I DID know inside that I would be, but there was a lot of fear on top of it that kept it away. But fear isn’t real and needs to be seen, looked at and shifted to what you DO want so that you CAN have it.

Message me to chat about private coaching, and read more of my story here 💗💗💗